A quick plug for one of my favorite sites.

I have hot water and heat. Wahoooooo! Just in time. It's just starting to get cold here now.

Half of my melancholic rage from last post was probably the cold medicine I took, but I think I'm inspired enough to do a little something for myself. I'm taking care of my debts in an ordered fashion and keeping up with my plan, so I'm happy at least that is a positive trend. In the mean time, instead of paying a larger chunk to debt like I was planning, I'm going to buy a guitar, a mic, and a 4 track recorder today. I haven't had much creative going on in this head, but now if I do, at least I can explore it. I promise that the first new song I write (that I count as a finished real song) will be posted on this site. I'd give it at least a couple months, but I'm not putting any time limit on it. I have no clue what I would write about these days, but just the sound of a new song would be enough for me.

Ahhh, work. Yup, I'm back working again. It sucks about as much as I remembered it. All that time off was great, but now I'm extremely warped for getting a taste outside of the indentured servant ant life. Ned, Paul, and I used to talk in high school about "The Trend" and that we were going to fight it. There's just no damn way around it. I'm depressed. What the fuck am I working towards? I'm in debt and I've never saved a penny. I'll never retire. Where is that enjoyable career that was suppose to fall in my lap? Where was the lightning strike to show me my destiny? Of course, these are all things I've already gone over in my head as a tween drunkard, but somehow I feel them all welling up again. It's too early for a midlife crisis, and besides I had a really tough time coping with my teenage years. I thought I was only suppose to experience that major loss of self once in life. I wanted to be a musician or a writer. I guess I'd still like to do that, but for the last five years or so I haven't had a single creative thought. My dreams that were once facinating in complexity are now a mere reflection of what I did that day, or more likely what show I watched on T.V. ("I feel stupid and contagious, here we are now, entertain us." K.C.) I know I'm a spoiled brat. I've never had to suffer hardship or pain. I'm just flat bored and tired of workin' for the Man. What's that little voice in my head sayin'? I think it said, "get off your ass and change things." I think four back to back episodes of South Park should drug that little bugger voice back into his hole. How dare my spirit speak to my soul in that tone after being silent so long.