Ugh... I am so frustrated with all the red tape and bureaucracy that I have to go through to get anything done here. Today I went to accept a deal for an apartment and then they told me that I owed them 118 quid for them to process my U.K. credit check.

I said, "well, I don't have any U.K. credit. I just arrived."

They (meaning the property management agency I'm dealing with) said, "Oh, well in that case you have to pay your entire rent up front or get a Guarantor (co-signer)"

I said, "Why can't you just check my U.S. credit?"

They said, "We don't do that."

I said, "Well why don't I go ahead and pay your processing fee and I'll tell you how you can check my credit in the States for about 30 quid."

They said, "Sir, we don't check U.S. credit."

I gave in and said, "Ok my boss will be my guarantor. Just give me the Guarantor forms and I'll bring them back tomorrow."

They said, "We can't give you those forms until you fill out the credit check forms."

I said, "But I don't have any U.K. credit. I just arrived."

They said, "I'm sorry, but you have to pay us the 118 quid and we have to process the form anyway."

I said, "But in a worst case scenario where I had the worst credit of anyone in all of the history of the U.K. it wouldn't matter because you are requiring me to have a Guarantor anyway."

They said, "I'm sorry, we have to process your credit report before we can continue with the process."

I said, "May I contact the landlord directly to work this out with him/her?"

They said, "I'm sorry that's privileged information."

I said, "ok, I'll tell you what. I'm going to go home and fill all this out and I'll talk to you tomorrow."


(I'm not going to fight this because I just want the stupid apartment and start my life already, but sheeez!!!)

Happy Birthday Chris! May 30th

Happy Birthday Ned! May 31st

I'd post Ned's D&D stats, but it would be from my memory and what I know of him from the Tanque. Besides, it's his birthday tomorrow and I wouldn't want to embarrass him with unusually low stats.... oh what the hell, I'm game...

Ned's Stats -

Str - 13
Int - 16
Dex - 12
Wis - 15
Con - 14

oh yeah, and that high Constitution is because he is a big guy who can take alot of damage.

Ben's D&D stats:

Str - 12
Int - 14
Dex - 13
Wis - 14
Con - 8

My ego might have boosted the Wisdom a little high. Hmmm... what class would be best for those stats? Perhaps a Bard... What about a permanently drunk ninja in very poor health? After all Benjamin Emerson is an anagram of "mm One Beer Ninja!" or "Beer Ninja Omen m" Didn't work out entirely with that anagram, but it's damn close. I think I'll just have the m's officially removed from my name so that it works. Benjain Eerson

It's just a little weird (like Phil said) to post one's own D&D stats, but how about this for crossing social faux pas lines: Here's what I think John's and Jim's stats are:

John: Str - 15 Int - 14 *Dex - 13 Wis - 16 Con - 14

Jim S.: Str - 11 Int - 16 Dex - 14 Wis - 13 **Con - 15

*note- John's hand-eye coordination is about 17, but his lowered Dex score is due to my perception of his agility.
**note- Jim's constitution might seem high for most people that know him on and off. He's not a big guy that can take alot of damage type of thing... sheer will power and determination after he has chosen to put his Coors light down and get off his ass though...

Wahoooo! Bought my ticket to Amsterdam. Leaving the 6th and flying back on the 9th. Not long, but it should be fun anyway. I'm meeting Rob.... can't wait. I move into a new pad in "Didsbury", (That's the correct way to spell it.) on the outskirt of Manchester... heavy student area. I move in on the 1st so I might be off-line until I get things set up. Going to be a busy early June. I've been convinced to shave my head this weekend. Tres european, but I'm going to look like a freak with the amount of times I've been hit in the head. Maybe it will give me the tough guy look I always have been lacking to pick up the chicks. If not, I suppose I have enough money to cover that problem in Amsterdam.

A pound in your hand means something. Lesser change doesn't quite do it; but a quid in the palm makes you feel like "shit, I can have this or that." It's a very solid coin.

I just witnessed a magpie making noice on the ground in front of a cheshire cat, sitting on a fence. It was strutting in front of the cat that I have seen eat 2 of his offspring. What feeling is that? It's not revenge. It's not regret. It's pride. And I think I have never seen a "fuck you" so well displayed in all my life. I loved it, and I'm not quite sure why.

You go Bill! It seems as though, and I know I don't know you well enough to say this but, it seems as though you are outside of the game my friend. You needed it.

I've found a little section of life around Manchester's outskirts that reminds me of Little Five Points from Atlanta. Not exactly, but I believe this will be where my home will be. Ditsbury...I didn't spell that right, but I'll correct it later.

I really felt what Liz said yesterday. Is the Fishtanque becoming self-aware?

alright... I'm falling in love with this R.E.M. album me... It's just like old R.E.M. albums that I slowly fell in love with me....me...me...me.... why not? why? I don't know. It's just happening.... it's different from past R.E.M. albums, but that same slow love affair that grows more with familiarity and listening... listen... grow... me. I hated it... I hated it's slow forced melodies... I find me after a while of it.... me... why? I don't want my music to be that... so? who cares... I don't have to be that... My friend is still there though. I am still watching and listening to every friend the same way... doesn't matter how different... I'm still watching and I like.

Kudos is due Mr. Jeffords for his righteous separation from the right!

Sean - I wish I knew more about the Manchester music scene, but I've been staying in a house way out in the suburbs and I haven't seen much of anything but English T.V. since I've been here. I'm moving out to a satelite city of Manchester called Altrincham on June 1st, so I hope to experience a bit more of the night life. I haven't heard the name Joy Division in a while. I can't say that I know much about them. When I think of Joy Division, I think of a mix between the Clash and Velvet Underground. (I may be way off there) I'll certainly post my music scene findings as soon as I experience them. I'm hoping that I will have alot more to post about after a month or so of getting set up in my new pad.

Two songs that are growing on me from Reveal: Saturn Returns and Chorus and the Ring. I know I said it all sucks, but I'm not listening to me anyway.

Did I get your ass right, John?

Virtual model of John after a month of his new routine.

Great news for me... I just got my visa and papers that have been swirling around the governmental offices of the U.K. for a while. I'm legit now until November of 2002. Yeeeeeeeha!!!

I watched this really cool BBC program on Lake Vostok today. Apparently they have found that life has survived for millions of years in microbial form, not by photosynthesis, but chemosynthesis (hydrogen sulfide more specifically) that is usually given off from heat vents that well up inner earth gases. They also talked about a cave system that was teaming with insect life (all brand new species) that had been shut off from any contact from the surface (no light, or rain water or anything) for millions of years. The whole ecosystem fed off of microbes that used chemosynthesis. What makes me mention all this is the fact that I am totally consumed with astrobiology these days or at least the prospects of it. Europa with it's deep water oceans under 4 miles of ice could be teaming with life. Thank goodness there are dedicated scientists to do all the dirty work while I can just sit down for 30 minutes and watch a video about it.

By the way, I've put little pictures with colored splotches (not a very artistic way of doing it, but it works) next to the stories on the main drunkenfish page. At the moment, all the pictures have red ovals which means that the newest chapter of that particular story is old. Yellow means less than six months and green means that they have been created less than one month ago. Maybe somehow I will be inspired to see some more green splotches... we'll see.

As always, I would be extremely eager to get the first chapter of a story from anyone.

My mom sent me an email thanking me for my contribution to her burgundy flowering plant for Mother's Day. Ummm.... I suppose I should call each of my brothers to find and thank the responsible party. In my defense, Mother's Day is celebrated on a different day here in England... I still don't think that would fly with my mom though.

I screwed up somehow, or my dreamweaver did, or something funky happened when I synchronized my site with the server... anyway, the drunkenfish page I designed is gone... no big deal I suppose, I'll just redo it.

R.E.M's new album sucks royal! I have to admit, to me a band is a friend and it is always hard to let go of good friends when they have changed too much to be around anymore. I've given R.E.M chances, but Up and Reveal are too far gone to continue my relationship with them. Good bye old friend... I love you.

Coming soon in June will be my "Mars Blog" A journal from my granddaughter Laika in the year 2066.

Sonya? ...damn!

There was an error in Regan's webpage that was preventing her posts from going live. Along with the correction, I have put up some of her poems on her site. Check it out.

I just can't send Regan to the Malebloge... not yet. I ask of thee that thouest save poor doomed Regan for just a short while. Thus now I ponder the eternal question (besides that "who am I?" crap). Can a soul survive and return to the living after the torture of... THE MALEBLOGE! Bwah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... We'll see.

"That wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'." I hear ya brother Bill. Praise be, my Perry, praise be.

I hear your name thrown around all the time and you've been on Ned's blogger list (without even having a blog) for ages. Welcome Phil!

The Babel Fish is small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds off of brainwave energy, and as a by-product, excretes telepathically, the intended meanings. The outcome of which is that if you stick a Babel Fish in your ear, you can instantly understand anything said to you, in any language. The Babel Fish is, or rather was, the centre of a major controversy. The chances of anything so mind-bogglingly useful evolving by chance can be considered a positive proof of the existence of God. This causes other, greater problems. As God will refuse to prove that he exists, as proof denies faith, and without faith He is nothing, He is confronted with a problem. The Babel Fish is a dead giveaway - it proves that He exists, and therefore He doesn't! God was reported to have vanished in a puff of logic at that point. As the Babel Fish is now widely available from any convenient Sirius Cybernetics Corporation 'Babel Fish Dispenser Aquarium', most of the population of the galaxy have one poking in their ear. Thus, the Babel Fish has effectively removed all language barriers, and has consequently allowed so much more to be communicated; it has caused more, and bloodier wars than anything in the history of creation.

..so long and thanks for all the fish, Mr. Adams.

gosh... have you ever written something really stupid, only to have blogger go down on you (like the crack slut bitch whore she is... but damn do I still love her) before you can delete it? I spent the last 4 hours in nervous panic trying to get rid of my last post. whew, it's gone!

Happy Birthday Jimmy Stewart!!!! Wish I had some comprimising photos to post, but alas I'm in strict contract to certain media corporations to not display those pictures until it is in the best intrests of invested parties as to make a reasonable profit from such a posting. I wish you would quit fucking around and get famous already.

John- your ring is in the bathroom or the bedroom.

Heather - I was a mess when a death occured suddnely early in my adult life. I don't know how I would react now. I remember the shock and the feel of something ripped away without warning and feeling like, damn, that's not suppose to happen. At the time, it also put me into a deep depression on a personal level because I realized my mortality and how my number could be up at any second and it also unleashed alot of other built up repressed feelings of my own. I would like to think that I would be less selfish in my suffering now, but it's hard to tell until you experience it. Anyway, I wish you the best in trying to cope with the feelings that make sense, like in honoring your friend, but also in those thoughts and feelings that don't.

Hello and welcome Regan! Be sure to check out those hipsters over at Tanque.org. They're extremely friendly people and I'm sure you'll have lots in common to talk about.

I've wanted to put out the 7th chapter of Crunch the Wonder Dog for some time now, but I've just not been into it enough... I feel I let Crunch down in the 6th, by not being enthusiastic enough with the story. I know he is a made up dog, but I love 'em and I just don't want to let his spirit down again. I've scraped the beginnings of 3 such 7th chapters because all I had down was the logistics of the situation, just like I did in the 6th. hmmmmm.... I guess there is no need to rush a good rush. If the 7th comes to me in a rush, like all of the best chapters I've written, then I'll put it up. What I want to write about is Melody Howl, even though the story sucks... Maybe I should just follow my whims and keep writing Melody Howl in the disregard part of the main drunkenfish page to get me past this hump in writing. I should probably be writing this babble in the drunkenbattleblog considering my condition, but it doesn't really fit there either. Blah, blah, blah... The Fortress of the Vampire will probably be coming soon for Melody Howl.

Like the site Jimmy Stewart!

some mars calender points of interests...

1. every unit of time will be 1.0275 times longer than its terrestrial counterpart, but we will use the same named units and structure.

2. The martian year is 669 martian days.

3. Since mars has an elliptical orbit, its seasons are of unequal length with 66 martian days in Leo (Leo 24 being aphelion 'farthest away from the sun') to 46 martian days in Aquarius (Aquarius 16 being perihelion "nearest to the sun')

4. The dust storm season on mars starts in Capricorn and last until Aries. Dust storms are caused by carbon dioxide being released into the atmosphere from the melting frozen antarctic during the relative hot southern spring and summer (it's much closer to the sun than the rest of the year) creating the atmospheric pressure of the planet to raise about 12 percent in the course of a few months. This causes the high wind dust storms that start at the south pole and spread north throughout the southern summer season, sometimes engulfing the entire planet.

This is kinda cool to me. This is the mars calender that will most likely be used by martian colonists. Each zodiac sign represents the position of mars as viewed from the sun, so at midnight during that zodiac month, that constellation should be straight overhead. If you put a penny on the diamond of a year of the outer circle (mars calender) and then put another penny on the 1st of January in the inner circle (earth calender) and then move them together one diamond at a time counterclockwise, you can determine the alignment of earth and mars at a certain time of year and the corresponding calender dates.

Whew... that was a much needed break. I feel better now. heh,heh...

I've been having dreams for about a month now on corporate media conglomerates. The first one happened out of no where.... I wasn't even aware of any developing situation. It was about my local newspaper in New Orleans buying up all the other newspapers in the States, one by one, and I was getting all worked up explaining to my family what was so horrible about that. I woke up and turned on my computer that has the NYTimes as my front page. Lo and behold the lead story was about the FCC loosening restrictions on corporate media expansion. Anyway, it shocked me enough to feel a certain obligation in pursuing the subject, so I'm following my subconscious and posting links to articles when I run across them until the dreams stop or I lose interest, which ever comes last. I haven't had whole dreams on the subject since the first one, but it just keeps popping up in conversations throughout my dreams.

"If the flow of human communications is controlled by global media companies, how do we ensure that social and cultural points of view and political expressions that may differ from those of the companies who own the frequencies will be allowed to flow over the spectrum?"

Good - Happy Birthday Shari and David !!! Welcome Heather !!!

Bad - My blog has been absolutely boring lately. There is so much positive energy going on in this here bloggin' group, but I'm not a very positive person at the moment. I'm going to take an unknown amount of time off from blogging, until I get an attitude change. If anyone needs anything let me know. My e-mail is on the battleblog and main drunkenfish page. Ta.