Wow! What a cool feeling to have people write on your web page. I somehow missed this whole comments phenomenon until now. Thanks for welcoming me into this by posting comments. Anyway, the job frustration built up in my head too much to just cruise along with, so I went ahead and quit. I've got 2 months worth of savings, so I won't need any income for that amount of time. I hooked up with a bartending agency for 60 something bucks that sends me a manual and a bartending kit and a test for certification. I know, it sounds like I just got ripped off, but they guarantee placement in your area within two weeks of certification. Since I don't really know jack about serving alcohol (it's usually straight from the bottle to the mouth for me), I thought this couldn't hurt me. I'm going to do alot of searching on my own to find a bar I would be comfortable with. I figure wherever I get placed probably won't be the bar I'll want to stay at. So basically, I'll use my first location as a means of learning the trade. If I like the place, then great. If I don't, then by then I'll have some experience and I'll seek out a more comfortable working environment. What I dread most about being a bartender is in going from white collar jobs to blue collar jobs, the character of the boss seems to always change. I'm almost certain to start off with a redneck asshole for a boss, but that's how that goes. I'm ready for it.

I feel like Dudley Moore in "Bedazzled" with all the jobs I've had. If it's not one thing it's another. Nothing seems to go quite right. Everytime I get going on a job, there comes a moment when I just look up at the sky, extend my toungue and go Thpppppbbpbpthpbpb!!! This Conseco Customer Service job sucks! First off, they have a million different companies they've acquired all with their own 1980's circa computer applications. No information is easy to obtain. It's a matter of finding the right program, scrolling through reams of data looking for the code that signifies what type of policy and then the actual info you need is buried in reams of more code. The whole time the customer thinks you're an idiot for taking so long to get the answer to a simple question. Also, most every person that gets on the phone with me is stinking mad. Conseco sold all these Universal life policies in the 80's projecting great things with the policy by estimating the interest rates would stay at 7% or more. The interest rates now are about 3%, so everyone is getting notices that their policies are out of money and that they need to start paying alot more premiums if they want to keep their policies from lapsing. Well, thpbpbpbpthpbpbp!!! I want out of this stupid job. The pay is great and the benefits are awesome, but I don't want to do this everyday. I've decided that I want to be a bartender. Not the safest choice of jobs for me, but I'm going to do it anyway.

Personally, I don't see the big deal about actually going through with making identical clones of a person. I see alot of the negatives, but I don't see the positives. I can see that there are many medical advancements that can be made in the field of cloning, but I don't see the purpose of actually going all the way with making the actual clone. Hmmm... would I want an exact clone of myself.... maybe. I'd have to involve a woman with the gestation anyway, so I might as well just fuck her and share our genes. It's evolution baby!! I'm usually never one to stand in the way of science, but in this case, the potential suffering without (to me) a usuable goal is pointless. I'm a bit of a sociopath when it comes to my beliefs in what should be sacrificed in the name of science, but with this already overpopulated world, I don't see the significance needed to allow such a human experiment.
... and how about that Raelian Cult. Yeah, whatever... to me it's just the same as all religions except they've gone back to the human sacrifice.

I'm staying at my brother's house while he's in New Orleans. Just a good way to get some time to myself and take care of his dog. I came home on the 23rd to find a business card on his front door. Kim Dotson of the United States Office of Personnel Management. This is what the card says word for word.
"The U.S. Government is conducting a background investigation on a person you may know. Please call my office during the business day and leave a message of where and when I may contact you to arrange an interview."
Who are they after... could it be me? Probably not, but this really puts the image of Facism in my head. Next we'll be having to show our papers in random inspections. 'knock, knock, knock... open up, Homeland Security!'

Well, I've been drunk most of these holidays. Big surprise. My thoughts meander around what I might write about, what I might do to express myself, and what's the point. Sometimes I look at American culture as a society that is chasing shadows. Do we understand what big purposes we fight for or live for. I guess all I can talk securely about is what I feel strongly about. I wish I could pin that down. I personally just entertain myself by watching VH1 shows on old bands, I play the newest video games to entertain myself and escape from the looming ghostly goal of progressing myself. We went from the father figures of the 40's and 50's to the rebellious children of the 60's to the recovering ease off of the 70's to the selfishness of the 80's to the fake, but trully felt love of the world to escape ourselves in the 90's to what I hope is clear vision of what the fuck is going on of this decade. I may be way off, but I find myself wondering what the hell do I really care about in this world. Stop the war, comes to mind. Stop killing each other... but what is the real goal. For me, and I know this doesn't play into much that we can do first hand, but it is to make the human race survive long enough to actually discover a purpose and focus, worthy of humankind. Survival might be a good start. Anyway, back to the focus of song lyrics, what the fuck do I write about these days. I don't have a girlfriend, family, any of the stuff that everyone else around me seems to have. I do have the anger of the youth, but I'm completely out of touch with what their anger is and am way too in touch with my own personal anger of underacheivement. (That was just me complementing myself in thinking that I have the ability to be something great, but I just haven't realized what that thing is.) This is not thinking that's getting anywhere, but I thought I'd share the effort by actually going ahead and posting this ramble.

I just had a chat with my Uncle Sim and he says that the tooth rat thing is a german tradition that my Grammy passed down. I love that.... the Tooth Rat. What a wonderful thing that I actually believed in as a child.

Between writing on notebook paper at work like a little kid, stuff like Ben Emerson - Guitar, vocals... etc... and writing my band name in every style imaginable, I am in love with having a band again. I know it sounds like I'm really into myself, but so what. I'm very happy to be in a band again. The name of the band is Penny Strange and the cd will be called Fledgling. It's all about being 20 something from suburbia and experiencing the city. We're going to try to write a title song, but the cd is already strong without it. The new date, now that we have a sound man that has put things in perspective for us, is going to be sometime this summer. I will throw a huge bash that all will be invited to. I know it is so much cooler to release good music quietly and just say, "yeah, here it is... whatever." I'm too egocentric for that. I want to make a giant event of it.

Merry Festivus or Winter Solstice or Christmas or whatever you like to celebrate. Is Santa Claus God? Is Santa Claus a saint? What's the difference between saints and gods. They both have magical powers and people still believe in them... That would kinda put a damper on the whole one God belief and how superior this monotheism is to all those ancient belief systems.... but I digress. Well for me, I guess Santa Claus is the only god I ever knew... oh yeah and the tooth rat. (We had a bit of a warped family and the tooth fairy was never mentioned. I think that was my Uncle Sim's doing.... it really sounds like his work.) Anyway, I would like to share my love for all the bloggers. I don't write much, but I very much enjoy reading what everyone has to say in their daily perception of what's going on. The world is a wonderful place for me. I absolutely love watching everyone flow past and back again from my choice of a spot to settle. I've been a driftin' most of my life and for once I am standing still to see what's going on. I'm really finding I love humanity. There is so much good in every person I come in contact with. Either I've picked a very good spot to observe from or I'm getting a good sample of the norm. In either case, I love you all. Merry Christmas.