I've made it a habit not to mention anything about the women I date on my blog. Partly to protect their privacy and partly to protect the secret that I rarely ever date. Anyway, I'll keep with that policy, but I just had to mention that I really, really like who I'm seeing now. My co-worker tells me to enjoy the first couple months because after that it turns into fighting hell. She (the co-worker) is helping me practice arguing, so I'll be prepared when it starts happening. I think a first effort was, "Liar!!! You're nothing but a filthy liar!" Then there was the more traditional, "I'm not the problem. You're the problem!!!" I'm working on one, but I don't have the wording quite right yet: "I am not drunk and I barely touched you, so just put down that damn phone!"
Please feel free to contribute any lines that I might use once things turn bad.
4 Comments:
My favorite is "You don't know what it means to love!" Also "Everytime you're on your period it's the same shit!"
If you never think to utter these words, marry her.
What about, "since I finally decided on sexual orientation that suits me, you come along and blow away all preconceptions I had about women..."
What about the gender-dismissive, "hey, a hole's a hole..."
"So what if I'm fast. Take it as a compliment, and get over yourself."
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