Well, I've been drunk most of these holidays. Big surprise. My thoughts meander around what I might write about, what I might do to express myself, and what's the point. Sometimes I look at American culture as a society that is chasing shadows. Do we understand what big purposes we fight for or live for. I guess all I can talk securely about is what I feel strongly about. I wish I could pin that down. I personally just entertain myself by watching VH1 shows on old bands, I play the newest video games to entertain myself and escape from the looming ghostly goal of progressing myself. We went from the father figures of the 40's and 50's to the rebellious children of the 60's to the recovering ease off of the 70's to the selfishness of the 80's to the fake, but trully felt love of the world to escape ourselves in the 90's to what I hope is clear vision of what the fuck is going on of this decade. I may be way off, but I find myself wondering what the hell do I really care about in this world. Stop the war, comes to mind. Stop killing each other... but what is the real goal. For me, and I know this doesn't play into much that we can do first hand, but it is to make the human race survive long enough to actually discover a purpose and focus, worthy of humankind. Survival might be a good start. Anyway, back to the focus of song lyrics, what the fuck do I write about these days. I don't have a girlfriend, family, any of the stuff that everyone else around me seems to have. I do have the anger of the youth, but I'm completely out of touch with what their anger is and am way too in touch with my own personal anger of underacheivement. (That was just me complementing myself in thinking that I have the ability to be something great, but I just haven't realized what that thing is.) This is not thinking that's getting anywhere, but I thought I'd share the effort by actually going ahead and posting this ramble.